successful breakups

Hey..

How much ever one can stretch, there are always certain relationships that we just want to get out of - how much ever the opposite side doesn't want us to get away. Exiting out of some of these relationships which we entered by accident is at times very tough and monumental ! And at the end of all the struggle and pain with emotions running high, when one attains closure, it feels like end of a Trojan war. Few even celebrate after these breakups - messy or not.

And I had two such major breakups in the recent past. While one held me under the pretext of my 'commitment', the other didn't let me go in spite of promising that there was no expectation of any commitment.

Before it sounds like a Darren Star's Sex & the City column, let me set the context straight. These relationships were with organizations that just wouldn't let me go- a cellphone company and an online DVD store.

I had to get out of a pre-paid cellphone scheme. In the jazzy "pre-pay & leave-when-you-want" advertisements, they always forget to add "leave-if-you-can". The company unilaterally declared that they would automatically charge me every month on the scheme, which seemed okay until I decided to "leave". I called up to cancel the subscription. It took me just 5-10 minutes and I was almost cheerful with surprise when the agent said "and yeah.. you need to call and cancel the automatic charge every month to avoid further charges..". He said it would take a few minutes only and that was handled by 'another department' and transferred my call. Little did I know that the word 'few' in his language actually translates into 50 agonizing minutes after pressing some 120 buttons to a machine that was blasting one question after another.

When some human came up, she said she had to transfer me to another unit which handles this particular scheme. There went another 50 minutes down the drain. Meanwhile the music interlude was getting horrible and I almost decided to pay every month instead of sitting and going through this torture. I was about to give up when another machine picked up the call and made me punch in few more numbers. After a relatively short wait of 20 minutes a real person came up & I ended the relationship then and there. She asked me "Before you go, I wanted to ask you why do you want to leave?"... and I said "Because I can and want to leave-when-I-want-to"

The story of online DVD store was different. Though they made me wait for only a few minutes much to my happiness, a drama ensued:

Me: I need to cancel my membership.. I ve fulfilled the commitment of this relationship.

CH(the store operator): Well, sir. You have to buy 2 DVDs from us to fulfill the commitment.

Me: I did get 2 of them at regular price already.

CH: Yes you did. But you see, they were bought at $18.95 each. For our commitment count, they need to be bought at $19.25 or higher.

Me: But your website did allow me to count them as commitment

CH: We are sorry for that Sir. But they dont count even if the website allows it. Also we have given you a $15 credit.

Me: You credited $15 in my account ? I didnt see that.

CH: No sir, it means that you can buy a DVD worth of $15 from us when you buy one more at regular full price. But again, you cant use this offer against our commitment.

Me: I dont care. I dont need any credit. And I wont pay a penny more. I need to end this relation NOW.

CH: Well, that is not possible. You still need to honor the commitment.

Me: I hope you know that AOL, based out of Reston, Va just paid $1.25 million in damages for making it difficult for their subscribers to leave.

CH: (after 10 seconds on hold): Ok Sir. We are canceling your membership. Just a last question - why are you leaving us ?

Me: Because you force me to stay with you, thatz why..


And so my friends, I ended two relationships abruptly in spite of the other party wanting me stay - committed or not. Now, how often can I afford to say something like that ? ;)

Chao..