and i choose not to choose

Hey..

I have decided. The hunt finally came to a halt, temporarily at least. I have been doing this search for quite some time already. I knew at some point of time I have to make a decision, I have just been postponing it. Was looking at various options, discussing with friends, thinking a lot about this, comparing the choices etc., Finally it has come to a end.. for now.

Iam talking about my Cellphone. It is not a cool one like Raman's on which he wrote a wonderful review. It is a simple Samsung model that works just as a phone - nothing fancy. I have no particular attachment to it, but then this rambling is not about my cell.

It is about choices, or the struggle with choices - to be precise. If someone asks me "Do you need options or not?", I would immediately answer NO - that is the easiest multiple choice question I could ever answer so fast and so sure. At every point of life we are faced with multiple paths and at every such point we need to make decisions. When we were kids we looked upon our parents to make decisions for us. As we grow up, we are forced to make decisions and whatz worse, own them, live with them !!! This scheme is a perfect design to satisfy the Ultimate Master's sadistic game. Imagine what He would be thinking from the heavens above on every wrong decision we make - Oh What a fool...

I cant imagine any time where we are not thinking hard about choosing something. A car, Cellphone, apartment, ticket to India, TV, movie for tonight, a wife - the list goes on and on.. And each of this come with their own subdecision trees as well. Like Used Vs New or a $49.99 Vs $55.99 plan.... and we always put our minds just to decide what we need to do. We try and conclude what is best for us and after a while we justify the finalization to ourselves. Our whole life passes like this.

Some folks are gifted with making on the spot impulsive decisions - they are people whom we classify as know what they want. Some make real bad decisions by normal standards but in the turn it turns into a huge success, labelling the person as a risk taker. Others are people who just pick the first thing that comes to their mind and they are the one who takes life as it comes along.

The book of cliches advises us that making a decision is really very easy. If the difference is big, you know what to choose and if the difference is small, it really doesnt matter what you choose. This statement actually impresses me. For, most of we worry about is a infinitesimally small gain here and there. We all want the best in the lot and that is what breaks our head. Maybe we need to follow the principle above - then deciding anything is very easy. Importance is always relative, isnt it ?

Well.. I have wasted a whole lot of time in deciding what cellphone I need to buy. And all I ended up doing was to make a temporary arrangement to buy me enough time to think and decide - essentially - waste more time. I am not a risk taker, I certainly dont know what I want and I just cant take life as it comes along without making an analysis first. I am just a indecisive moron who
hasnt still figured out that a choice leads to another that leads to another and this is a never ending tree...

Robert Frost rightly put it

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

Chao...