click of the heart

Hey..

All I needed was one photograph.

We have studied together for four long years at college and I have always been mesemerized by her. I have spent many classes staring at her, many evenings thinking of her and many nights dreaming about her. Coward that I was, I had never opened my mouth, leave alone my heart to her.

And today was the last day. We will probably never meet again. She was going of to Madison or someplace in the US to do a masters. My roommate had a 35 mm that he used only once during a Kodaikanal trip and his photos never saw the light of the day anyway. I borrowed the camera and my aim was to take a picture of her for my memories.

But the odds were against me. For one, she spent all morning with some girly gang and saying bye to the professors. Most of my gang wouldnt do that anyways - they fared bad and were expecting to spend another semester in the college. During the lunch I didnt want to look odd holding a camera when the others were holding buffet food in plastic plates. Late noon was when all our class sat together and started general chit chat. The active guys/gals were trying to run some game to keep the crowd engaged. A few 'potential' couples were missing, proposals were mostly happening in the quadrangle park or silent corner near the cooperative store.

And I started casually walking up and down with my camera pretening to take photos of everybody but focusing all my energy and the lens on her & her only. I managed to click one, but the canteen-walah had to ruin it for me walking between the camera and her exactly during the click. Noon became evening and people started leaving one after other saying goodbyes. Some of the missing couples reappeared with smiles, a few came back glum and separate and tried mingling. She came by and said "Bye. All the best." and shook my hand ... and by this time I knew I had lost my chance to quickly take a snap.

...................

Several years later, I close my eyes and am able to travel farther & farther when Iam back at my college days. And I can see her clearly, smiling, cheerful, her eyes and mouth talking at the same time .... and I realised I didnt need a camera click to remember her by, for I had etched her memory deep inside....

PS: Eva is here because Iam just too mesmerized by her (and this photograph). It is my wallpaper for now and I can hardly click around anywhere in the computer.

Chao...